when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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