you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
