This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
