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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
