Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
