you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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