Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
