If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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