thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
