I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
