She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
