I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
