i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We got so high we made milksteak
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
