Im at strip club and am horny
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Randomize
