i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
