The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
