and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
