your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently you make a good broom.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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