In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
