She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This is my gift to your gina
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize