This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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