haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize