I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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