i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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