No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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