And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
