do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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