yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
