and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
