Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
