He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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