i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
