It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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