He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
