I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
