If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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