once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
