Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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