it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
being pregnant is like rehab
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
