why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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