you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize