you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
