So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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