i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize