Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
