Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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