i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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