I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
