In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize