having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
