AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize