mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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