so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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