it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
no you cant smoke seaweed
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
