so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
did i walk over a car last night?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
