Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
