I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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